Recently I have been teaching on the Holy Spirit. Initially I wanted to focus on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Answer questions like, is it available today?, does everyone need it?, what’s the big deal anyway?
Now while I pondered this, the Holy Spirit asked me was that all I thought He was about, speaking in tongues?…He asked me did I recall why Jesus sent Him to me in the first place, and the most painful question He asked was, how is your relationship with Me right now?
It became painfully clear the Holy Spirit wanted to teach some and remind others what His purpose is in the life of the believer on a daily basis as well as about speaking in tongues.
The lessons appeared to have an impact. Many of the attendees had resolved to do better about inviting the Holy Spirit into their day, and ask for His input throughout the day even if it didn’t seem like a crisis. (Unlike some of us who only call on God when we break stuff or have no one to call)
When the day came for me to teach the third lesson which included the speaking in tongues part, the controversial part, I was 6 hours away from the class start time and had not written one word.
I couldn’t gather my thoughts, everything was a distraction, it was terrible. Slowly I managed to complete the lesson, but did not believe it was as thorough as my others because I spent less time on it. Just before the lesson began, I went to a quiet place to talk honestly with My Father. I told Him my failures outweighed my successes that week, I hadn’t prayed like I should and my bible wouldn’t seem to open, like the pages were stuck or something..and I just couldn’t get it together.
I told Him I was completely unprepared and did not want to hurt His people because of it. I told Him I needed Him to not only forgive/remove from me whatever could stop Him from using me, but also I wanted Him to make me invisible so that the people would only be able to hear Him talking without being distracted by me. I asked Him to pull out of my Heart all the details about the Holy Spirit we were supposed to discuss that night.
I walked out to the class and noticed there were twice as many people there than usual, I thought oh joy, more great news 🙁 But I began the lesson and shared what I was given.
Now here is the cool part. After the lesson, several people came up to me and remarked on how powerful the message was and how much they could feel the anointing physically on them, and could hear the voice of God in what I said compelling them to change. And all I could do was marvel at what God had done, thank the people for their kind words, and praise God for His greatness.
He showed me again that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It never was about me anyway, it was about Him telling His people about His Spirit, what He brings to the table and what missing a purposeful relationship with the Holy Spirit costs. I was never more humbled in my life. God is faithful. I can never again let myself forget that!!